You Can't Run Forever...Everybody Lives

Okay, so I have developed an honest to god obsession with Doctor Who. There are only a few other obsessions that can even come CLOSE to the feeling Doctor Who gives me EVERY TIME I watch it. Them being Harry Potter, RENT and Spring Awakening. Even so, they don't come close enough. In the beginning I was so wishy washy about Doctor Who. I had heard of it, and I thought...oh that just sounds weird. Yet, after seeing an episode I was intrigued and now I just ADORE it. The show isn't just amazing for the plots, oh no, it goes so much deeper.

Doctor Who epitomizes so many symbols and themes. The Doctor stands for hope, love, life, and everything in between. You have a man, a timelord, who has lived over 900 years and seen so much, and yet he's still living and learning. He's still learning new things. He's a lonely man, he takes companions knowing that eventually he'll have to let them go. Eventually he'll have to allow them to live their own lives, have their families and do their own things. Yet, he still keeps going. I think this quote by River, whose identity is still not truly known to viewers yet, epitomizes what I just mentioned: "When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end. But however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it."

It's true. No matter what happens the Doctor doesn't accept that. He keeps trekking on through time and space. He keeps moving and helping others. I have never seen on a single episode the doctor do for himself. He's always doing for others. He's always helping others. He never asks for anything in return either. He just does it. Again, Martha, a companion of his epitomizes this in a quote: "And his name is The Doctor. He has saved your lives so many times and you never even knew he was there. He never stops. He never stays. He never asks to be thanked. But I've seen him, I know him... I love him... And I know what he can do."

While there's some really sad episodes, even those episodes bring hope. He visits historic figures and literary figures, throwing in tales of monsters, witches and other supernatural elements, but deep down there's so much deeper meaning. I know this may all sound silly because it's about a tv show, but honestly this show really has made me love it because of the meaning and symbols in it. When I'm really feeling low, I just watch Doctor Who and the positive meaning and emotions it brings out can truly make me feel so much better. I can find a quote from almost every episode that I LOVE. This blog is only scraping the surface, and yet I felt the need to write it because, well it really makes me feel much more positive about everything.

I'm going to list some other quotes from the show that I absolutely adore:

"You spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible: that maybe you survive."- 9th Doctor from The End of the World

"One may tolerate a world full of demons for the sake of an angel"- 10th Doctor from The Girl in the Fireplace

"He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And... he's wonderful."- Tim Latimer from The Family of Blood

"When you're a kid, they tell you it's all 'grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it.' But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better."- Elton from Love and Monsters

"What if you were really old, and really kind and alone? Your whole race dead, no future. What couldn't you do then? If you were that old, and that kind, and the very last of your kind.... you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry."- Amy Pond from The Beast Below

"Have you ever run away from something because you were scared, or not ready, or just... just because you could?"-Amy Pond from The Beast Below

"You can't go back and change time, you mourn or you live"-from The Vampires of Venice


"It seems to me there is so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe if you look hard, there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of. It's colour! Colour that holds the key! I can hear the colours, listen to them. Every time I step outside, I feel nature is shouting at me. Come on! Come and get me! Come on! Capture my mystery!"- Vincent Van Gogh from Vincent and the Doctor

"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things and make them unimportant."- 11th Doctor from Vincent and the Doctor


"That's okay; we're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one. 'Cos it was, you know. It was the best....And the times we had. Woulda had. Never had. In your dreams they'll still be there. The Doctor and Amy Pond. And the days that never came."- 11th Doctor from The Big Bang

I don't know what else to say. I just felt an honest need to share why I love Doctor Who so much, and to put out there how upbeat it makes me feel. :D So that's it really.

I Can't Keep My Eyes Off Of You

Okay, so I feel an update is in order and a happy one at that! :D I feel like I've been far too in between lately, not really happy but not really sad. However, today I can't keep a smile off my face. Even the worst things that have happened today haven't broken my smile. Why, one may ask? A girl named Beck. Rebecca, but she goes by Beck.

Anyway, Beck was my date and the date was amazing. I have never had ANYONE treat me as she had. She literally followed the definitions of chivalry. I'm usually the one doing everything she did for me, for others. It was a nice change. She held doors for me, made sure I was in front of her and ordered first. She kissed my forehead. She called me beautiful. She just treated me better than anyone I've ever been with has. She was respectful and just amazing. The night before our date we had spoken on the phone for 6 hours! The date...well, let's say we opted to see a movie to spend more time together. I haven't been able to stop smiling since.

She's apparently got a plan for our second date too, but she won't tell me. All I know is she said she's going to take me there. Where there is, is a surprise to me. To me that's just thrilling. I have never had someone want to please me so much, and also someone tel me how happy I make them. I mean, I apparently make her smile and blush in a way no one else has, or so she says. She makes me feel loved, confident and just wonderful. I am happier than I've been in a long time thanks to Beck. I really needed something and I'm glad I found her now when I did.

She's also doing nanowrimo FOR ME! She didn't know what it was and has never written anything but poetry and yet here she is writing a mystery for nanowrimo just so she can write with me. I'm tickled. I mean, I can only hope I'm doing just as much for her as she's doing for me because she is absolutely amazing.

It's funny how life works sometimes. When your at your worst, well, it seems that sometimes luck or fate is on your side. I mean, when your at your worst things can always be worst and trying to have a positive outlook helps. It certainly helped me. As bad as I have been feeling, that positive outlook seems to have led me to Beck. I can only hope I don't screw this up. She makes me feel happier than I have in a long time, and I really needed it even if that sounds selfish. I'm glad she came into my life when she did and I'm glad she seems to really appreciate me.

Ironic fact: Beck was supposed to do Camp Sunshine in July. She didn't end up going because she got sick, 10 days before she was scheduled to volunteer and you can't be sick up to 2 weeks before camp since a lot of the kids have compromised immune systems. I was absolutely shocked and yet glad to hear she had planned to do it too.

Anyway, I think I've rambled enough, but I figured I'd share a bit of happiness here. Oh, also, nanowrimo is going well so far. I don't want to jinx myself, but so far I'm really liking my nano and I've been staying ahead. :D

:D

Just Let This Go

Okay, so here we go.

Promises. Promises are strange things and for me they build the relationship I have with someone. I will keep MY promises as long as someone keeps THEIRS. If you break my trust, ESPECIALLY when you KNOW I have trust issues, you should NOT expect me to keep my promises. Sorry, but it's only fair. If you make me promises and then go back on them, hurt me, break them, and break my trust then I WILL NOT keep my own promises to you, sorry it doesn't work that way. Trust is a two way street. When on way is broken, the other is too. So, really don't think you're guilting me or making me feel bad. YOU did it to yourself and you ruined much more in the process.So please, don't expect sympathy from me. I'm sorry you ruined that for yourself. Maybe I'm not a heartless bitch and a part of me still cares, otherwise I probably wouldn't even be typing this and making it known how I feel, but I'm sick and tired of lying and pretending. I tried and you ruined things more and more for yourself. Many promises have been broken and really, you should know just how important promises and trust is to me.

Anyway, now that that's out of the way time for an update. So, it's nanowrimo! Yay! I was so excited for nanowrimo to start. I love the chaos and the stress of trying to write 50,000 words in a chaotic month. Already it's becoming stressful as I have so much schoolwork on top of it, but staying ahead is helpful. I hit 3000 words on the first day and now I'm nearly at 6000 and counting. Plus tomorrow I have nothing planned until my 5pm class and so I'll be doing a lot of writing. I totally changed my plan. My plan was to write a character of mine, Azrael's story. However, I didn't have enough muse and so instead I'm reworking a story I began to post on my blog earlier, probably last Feb. or so called Two Worlds Collide. The entire story is changed because I cut out one character, added three new ones. Everything is different. The only thing that's the same is the general plot. Otherwise I have reworked the entire story.

My first night of nanowrimo was amazing. Kamali had been at my house all weekend and we spent the night counting down as we watched Doctor Who with lots of snacks and drinks. Then we began writing at midnight, and were up until about 4am working on our nano. I'm excited to have a bunch of writing buddies, at least a handful. It makes it more fun to do it with others and have them pushing you along. I also think that Kamali and I will be working in a few write ins which also help. I'm super excited for nano this month.

I also have some other news. Particularly, I have a date tomorrow. I'm going to dinner with a girl. I'm excited. We've been texting nonstop and she is adorably sweet. I wake up to a good morning text from her every single day. She actually decided to participate in nanowrimo because she heard me talking about it and wanted to do it with me. She's sweet and while I'm super nervous I'm also excited to get out and actually go on a physical date. Plus, this girl and I share so many morals and views. She has the same views on family and she values school as much as I do. She also goes to the same university I'll be transferring into, though i'll be doing my classes off the main campus since they offer them at the one five minutes away from me.

Anyway, I think that's it for the update. I'm not sure when I'll write again since I'll be busy with nanowrimo and all, but we shall see.