Okay, so it's been awhile again. Though I do not think it's been quite as long as last time. But I guess it's high time I updated. So, I've been doing pretty damn amazing lately, even with a breakup. I turned 22 two weeks ago. I feel rather old because of it, though I know I'm not by any means old. It's just that there's all this hype leading up to your 21st birthday...and then birthdays after that just seem rather dull and drab. The next big birthday is 30 and most people fear it. For me, it is what it is. I had a fun birthday and that's what matters. Though, my birthday in NY turned into my birthday in Smithville and Atlantic City. Why? Trains were suspended from Delware, north. So we ended up going to Smithville and Atlantic City instead. It was still amazing and I still enjoyed the day.
Now, I broke up with my girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend...but that hasn't sent me into a downward spiral. Actually, I feel kind of relieved. However, it isn't my place to spill what happened here for the world to see. Plus, it's rather personal and we're trying to be friends. So, that is all I will say on that matter.
Jessi and I made up. She sent me texts the weekend after my birthday apologizing for everything. She missed me and didn't like how things happened. She couldn't stand not having me in her life, and she made amends for everything that happened between us. I'm glad. I missed her. I hate when friendships end and there's loose ends to be tied up. She tied them up by making amends and I'm glad. I missed her, but I had made my moves to fix it and while it took her two months to respond, she did. So, I'm glad.
Camp Sunshine is coming again! The weeks have been announced and I am so incredibly excited to reapply and to be a counselor again. I just hope to see some of the same counselors I worked with last year and also some of the amazing kids, though I hope to see them in good health. However, I'm doing an oncology session this time, not an off treatment oncology session. This session will probably be much more pressing because some of the kids WILL be sick. However, I know it will be just as rewarding and I love the kids I met last time and no doubt I will love those I meet this time. I'm actually trying to do 2 weeks this summer.
Then there's an update on my cousin. Tara is doing alright, they put her on new medicine which is supposed to help the swelling in her brain and prevent her vision from getting worse. The down side is it seems they may not be able to correct the vision loss she has already had. She slips from 20/40 to being legally blind at 20/180. She probably won't be able to drive when she's older if this can't be corrected and she'll also likely need help in school for most of her school life. It's sad how much we take for granted, but she's a tough 11 year old and she'll get through, plus my family is supportive and we will always support her and love her.
I think that's about it for now. I just felt an update was in order.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
I Can Do Anything
So I haven't written a new blog in awhile, mostly because I've been busy. It's about mid-semester now and so I've had a ton of work piling up. Spring break is next week though which is awesome. I'm actually on spring break for my birthday which is pretty damn kickass if you ask me. Anyway, once more I have found inspiration and decided it's time to write a blog. I can't promise this will be organized as my thoughts are slightly scattered but here it is.
So, lately I've been thinking a lot about life in general and I've had a lot of conversations with friends and family alike about what I want to do. Now, I have both long term and short term goals and time is fleeting. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Does anyone? Everyone is on borrowed time and anything can happen. Ideally all I really want to do is cherish the time I have and the people I have in my life. Their all part of my life for a reason and I've made a conscious decision to be around them and to care for them. Those who have come and gone, well that doesn't mean I don't miss them or cherish them....it simply means that somewhere something changed whether it was my fault or theirs. Part of me will always care and will always be here but I cannot live in the past. I must move on and reach toward the present and future. Dwelling on the pasts wastes time and time is precious.
Now, I have some more inspiring stories and they revolve around two little girls. One of them is my cousin Tara. Tara is my eleven year old cousin who suffered from a rare brain parasite in the fall. She still never ceases to amaze me. She has fought like a trooper throughout the whole entire ordeal. More recently the aftermath of the parasite, as the doctor's have called it, has left her legally blind. She goes from 20/40 to 20/180 within minutes. Sometimes she can see well and other times she can barely see a thing. Yet, despite this Tara is as upbeat as ever. She doesn't let it get her down and she's just a typical child. Some people in her situation would give up or feel limited, but not Tara. She takes it as a challenge and she lives to prove everyone wrong. She lives to show everyone she can do everything as she used to. To me that's uplifting. Here is someone who has lost her sight, something so many of us take for granted and yet she isn't letting it defeat her. She isn't giving up. I support her, and thinking of her just makes me proud to call her my cousin.
Another inspiration for me is Dawn. She is one of the girls from Camp Sunshine that I was a counselor to and every single time I see her she puts a smile on my face. She's nine years old and already she's been through more than most people will ever go through in a lifetime. She had cancer and she fought it and so far she has been doing well. She's in remission and she's one of the happiest children I have ever met. She lives twenty minutes from me and she has taken a liking to paying me surprise visits at work. She'll come and hug me and update me on how things have been for her. She came in today and gave me quite a few of her trademark hugs and I couldn't help but smile. Dawn has been through hell and back but she never stops smiling. She's a normal kid and she appreciates the little things in life because she could have lost it at such a young age. Seeing her always gives me a new appreciation for life. She makes me realize just how precious life can be and how much I should cherish things. She is one of the reasons I will volunteer at Camp Sunshine again and again.
Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to find yourself. You need to be the change you wish to see. If you want to make an impact on even a small chunk of the world you need to do something about it. You'll be remembered for your deeds and actions. To me, working at Camp Sunshine is rewarding. I know that I have made a difference to someone. Dawn tells me every time just how much fun she had and just how much it helped her. That to me is making an impact. I've impacted Dawn and the other children at the camp. The likelihood of impacting the entire world is slim, but I do hope I can make the lives of a few better even if it's simply by being their camp counselor. So, all I can say is if you want to leave an imprint on the world don't worry about it being big, even little things can be important to others. Sometimes it's the little things in life that matter most.
So, lately I've been thinking a lot about life in general and I've had a lot of conversations with friends and family alike about what I want to do. Now, I have both long term and short term goals and time is fleeting. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Does anyone? Everyone is on borrowed time and anything can happen. Ideally all I really want to do is cherish the time I have and the people I have in my life. Their all part of my life for a reason and I've made a conscious decision to be around them and to care for them. Those who have come and gone, well that doesn't mean I don't miss them or cherish them....it simply means that somewhere something changed whether it was my fault or theirs. Part of me will always care and will always be here but I cannot live in the past. I must move on and reach toward the present and future. Dwelling on the pasts wastes time and time is precious.
Now, I have some more inspiring stories and they revolve around two little girls. One of them is my cousin Tara. Tara is my eleven year old cousin who suffered from a rare brain parasite in the fall. She still never ceases to amaze me. She has fought like a trooper throughout the whole entire ordeal. More recently the aftermath of the parasite, as the doctor's have called it, has left her legally blind. She goes from 20/40 to 20/180 within minutes. Sometimes she can see well and other times she can barely see a thing. Yet, despite this Tara is as upbeat as ever. She doesn't let it get her down and she's just a typical child. Some people in her situation would give up or feel limited, but not Tara. She takes it as a challenge and she lives to prove everyone wrong. She lives to show everyone she can do everything as she used to. To me that's uplifting. Here is someone who has lost her sight, something so many of us take for granted and yet she isn't letting it defeat her. She isn't giving up. I support her, and thinking of her just makes me proud to call her my cousin.
Another inspiration for me is Dawn. She is one of the girls from Camp Sunshine that I was a counselor to and every single time I see her she puts a smile on my face. She's nine years old and already she's been through more than most people will ever go through in a lifetime. She had cancer and she fought it and so far she has been doing well. She's in remission and she's one of the happiest children I have ever met. She lives twenty minutes from me and she has taken a liking to paying me surprise visits at work. She'll come and hug me and update me on how things have been for her. She came in today and gave me quite a few of her trademark hugs and I couldn't help but smile. Dawn has been through hell and back but she never stops smiling. She's a normal kid and she appreciates the little things in life because she could have lost it at such a young age. Seeing her always gives me a new appreciation for life. She makes me realize just how precious life can be and how much I should cherish things. She is one of the reasons I will volunteer at Camp Sunshine again and again.
Sometimes you have to step outside of your comfort zone to find yourself. You need to be the change you wish to see. If you want to make an impact on even a small chunk of the world you need to do something about it. You'll be remembered for your deeds and actions. To me, working at Camp Sunshine is rewarding. I know that I have made a difference to someone. Dawn tells me every time just how much fun she had and just how much it helped her. That to me is making an impact. I've impacted Dawn and the other children at the camp. The likelihood of impacting the entire world is slim, but I do hope I can make the lives of a few better even if it's simply by being their camp counselor. So, all I can say is if you want to leave an imprint on the world don't worry about it being big, even little things can be important to others. Sometimes it's the little things in life that matter most.
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