F.R.O.G.S.

Okay...this title might sound a bit odd, but if I explain you'll get it. I'm feeling very inspired tonight. Maybe it was the episode of Doctor Who I just watched, maybe it's just everything that has been going on lately, but despite minor annoyances I'm starting to try to accept things as they come and accept those that want me around and deal with everything that comes my way. Maybe I'm growing up a bit more. I don't know. All I know is that there's been a lot on my mind and a lot going on recently.

First off, I never realized even after camp just how much something life threatening could change things, change a family. I mean who does? Unless your family goes something so serious and almost loses someone so close, you don't think about it. I also never thought it'd get closer to me than the kids at camp. Then about two weeks ago I came home from class to my mom's tears. I at first thought something happened to my brother. His car was the only one not there, he was the only one not home. She told she had something to tell me and my heart dropped. My brother was fine, at least physically. Emotionally, well, my whole family was a mess. What news we had wasn't less severe but it wasn't my immediate family. It was still horrible though. My 11 year old cousin, Tara, had been rushed to the hospital and then flown to a hospital 3 hours away. They thought she had a brain tumor. She had been having hallucinations, blackouts, seizures and throwing up. They didn't know how to diagnose her. To make a long story short the next day after lots of tests they found out she had a RARE brain parasite. They also told my aunt and uncle they could lose her. It sounds and even then sounded like an episode of House. It didn't seem real and yet it was. However, prayers worked and she miraculously responded to treatments and now she's home and will go back to school soon. She even jokes and calls the now dead parasite, Bob.

So, it opened my eyes. I mean here I could have lost a cousin, one I'm decently close to at that. My baby cousin could have died. She could have lost her life. Yet, she fought it and she came out of it. If she can do that, why should I sit and let people get to me so easily. Sure, people are still going to bother me, but hey I need to worry more about appreciating those I have and those who appreciate me. I need to worry less about the negatives and more about the positives. I mean, this could have ended in a complete and utter disaster and left my whole family in misery and yet the impossible happened. She bit insane odds and survived where a majority did not. That to me is a miracle and if that can happen, well then I guess in a way anything realistic can happen.

I just feel like I learned that everything can change in the blink of an eye, so you should appreciate what you have. No one knows what's going to happen. We're all here on borrowed time. We can be here one day and gone the next. That's reality as scary as it is. We can be healthy one day and deathly ill the next. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. Our whole lives are one big change. We're here, and yet things change for us everyday. We get one day older. We get taller, smaller, bigger, smarter, stronger, weaker, happier, sadder...and the list goes on. We change, and those around us change. Everything that happens is one big step toward a larger picture. It's insane when you think about it, yet it just is. No one can change it. We just have to live life to the fullest and embrace it.

I don't really know what else I want to say. I had a lot of inspiration and ideas for this, but they seem to have flown out the window now. I do, however, think this is a more positive entry and I'm going to try to write more when I'm happy. I mean, no one can be happy all the time and I know I'm not, but I'm really going to try to keep my focus on the positive things in my life and weed out the negatives or at lest put less focus on that. It's a new goal I have.

Oh and the title of my entry is an acronym a girl from camp taught me. Fully Rely On God. It was something she used as she was fighting her cancer and something I shared with my cousin to keep her fighting. I think in a way everything that happened with my cousin these past two weeks has renewed my faith. I mean, it's crazy but I guess these things do that to people.