So I think it's high time I posted a happier entry, since one of my friends pointed out how with my last two blogs it's high time I feel a bit better and that I deserve something better. I think maybe luck was on my side for once. Why, you might ask? One name. Cupid. Yes, Cupid. I doubt I spoke of her in this blog at all, and so now I will. Cupid is my nickname for her, it started flirty and stuck in my brain. She never understood the flirtyness, but I'll call her Cupid in this blog.
Okay so Cupid and I met rping, one of my nerdy habits, and she knew Kamali and my ex-best friend. She actually dated the ex-best friend. Anyway, that's besides the point. We've known each other a year or so through rping and our friends. She lives in Indiana and me in New Jersey. Well, at the end of May she came to visit Kamali and I went and stayed over Kamali's and then we came back to my house to see my brother off to prom and hang out. While we were hanging out I really and truly felt close to her. Like I was crushing on her almost the moment I met her in RL and it wasn't just an RP friend, but I never said anything. Well, with all that's been going on she wanted to know and comfort me. Last night she told me that the day all this went down she was hypothetically going to talk to me about liking me and wanted to date. I figured out she was talking about me in a hypothetical situation and now I know. She's liked me the whole time too. Which is really, shocking because I never think that can happen to me, but here it has. So it's like despite all this heartache there's a light. I just don't want to rush into anything when I'm trying to get over everything else, but it's an amazing feeling knowing my feelings were returned and that she'll wait until I'm over everything for me. We discussed it and how we both know with US it won't effect our friendship no matter what and how we WANT to be an us. So I think it's good. I just wish I knew before I put my heart into the other situation and allowed myself to be hurt because it would make this so much easier. I'm happy though, glad to have Cupid and to know she makes me happy. I can't wait until I get off work and we can talk again. She makes me smile, through everything, and she isn't a rebound because I liked her before all this and will still like her after. I saw her, we cuddled, talked for hours, got called "laughing hyenas" for our delirious 5am conversation. It's just different and no matter what it wouldn't be rebounding. Besides I've never rebounded in my life, even after Ariel. I ended up with Sue, but that WASN'T rebounding at all. I liked her.
So I think for once maybe something is going my way. That despite how completely miserable and down in the dumps I've felt that this is a light and something good. Cupid and I must discuss things more in depth, but I do think that we both want an "us" which makes me smile. I mean, with all the hurt I've been experiencing I really am glad to feel happy about SOMETHING and have SOMETHING to make things better. Sure, it won't erase the hurt, it won't bring back a lost friendship, but it IS something to be happy about, look forward to, and it is a light at the end of the tunnel if that makes sense.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment