These Things Will Change

So, I woke up in a very contemplative mood. It had me thinking a lot about change. Some change is good and some not so good. I like change and yet I hate it. I know it sounds silly to say that, but it's true. I guess it depends on the type of change. I mean, some change is really good like getting new things, making new friends, getting closer to others, and just many other things I can't think of at the moment. There's also bad changes too. Depression, paranoia, losing someone whether to death or change, among other things. Why does change happen? That's something I've contemplated a lot today. Does it happen because it has to and it's an ongoing cycle? Does it happen because of people and things that influence our lives? Is it natural and normal? I don't know. I don't know these answers. I think any of them could be true at any given time.

I do not like the idea of people changing and drifting. Sure, I like it when people change for the better. I like when people make positive changes in their lives and when people make themselves happy. I like those types of changes. However, I hate changes that push people away or hurt others. Those are negative changes. I still don't know why they happen. I still don't know why people must lie, cheat, or anything else. How can best friends become enemies? How can best friends grow to lie and hate one another? I don't get it. Maybe it's just everything that happened with my ex-best friend, but I'm just really contemplating all this change that happens and wondering if it'll ever be stopped. Wondering if everyone will change? Wondering who will stick around and still be around when I'm much older. It seems so many friends I had in the past I barely talk to anymore.

There's a few friends I've known for awhile still around, but for the most part I have a very small number of friends and I cannot help but fear that they will change just as my ex-best friend did, and we will all drift apart. It seems almost common at this point and it shakes me up and scares me. I want people to stay in my life. I don't like changes that ruin friendships or cause people to drift. Does anyone? Does it always have to happen? Is it a part of life? Again, I don't have these answers. It's just been on my mind.

This blog isn't meant to be depressing or anything, it's just a whirlwind of thoughts that have been on my mind. I don't know if it makes sense. I know I say that a lot, but a lot of times things make sense in my head but then when I reread them they make no sense. I'm going to cut it off here though because I have work soonish and want to relax and try to stop contemplating all this before work. So, until next time, I'm out.